Patience When Answering the Call

Today while walking home from confession my eight year old son asked me if there was a particular school one has to go to become a priest.  I told him yes it is called a seminary.  He asked if he could enter that school now.  I told him unfortunately you have to graduate from high school first.  He asked when that would be and I told him he would be 18 years old.  To Kostin who is only 8 years old this seemed like a lifetime.  Well actually it is a lifetime to him as it is more time then he has actually be alive.  He said in a pleading voice that he wants to enter that school now as he so much wants to be a priest.  This is not the first time Kostin has expressed an interest in becoming a priest.  He has been talking about it since he was 6 but this summer he has become decided on it.

He has mentioned to me in the past that he is worried he will forget how much he wants to be a priest when he is old enough to become a priest.  Today as we walked home I suggested he write a letter to himself which we will seal and have him open when he is 18.  When we got home Kostin began writing and drawing.  He told me part of what he wanted to write was a picture.  Part of the picture would have a sun with an arrow pointing to it.  When I came back in the room the letter and picture were done and he had made an envelope already with a piece of paper.  He put the letter in and sealed it with tape.  He was very private about what was inside but he was purposeful and decided about it whatever it contains.  Kostin's experiences seem to be paralleling those of a dear friend who is also a member of the children's rosary.  She, however is 26 year old.  Her pursuits to find an order of nuns to join have not been fruitful.  She has found it difficult to find where she fits but inside her heart there is a deep longing to consecrate herself to Jesus.  She shares with me the pain that waiting brings.  To find fulfillment each day is a struggle when your heart seems to be calling you to a vocation.  Caitlin and Kostin share another thing, they both have a child's spirit.  Both are innocent to the world in many ways and look to the Lord for guidance in all that they do.  The struggles that they experience remind me of poor St. Rita who for years tried to enter a covenant after her husband died.  It was not until she was miraculously transported within the walks of a convent that she was finally accepted.  St. Faustina, too, experienced rejection from the first covenants that she tried to enter.

I pondered today on the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows why Our Lord places in certain hearts a burning desire to join Him in a consecrated life yet also commands them to wait, in some cases years.  I then think of His dear Blessed Mother who He loved beyond imagining and yet she herself had her heart pieced seven times.  Could it be that those chosen souls who are given the gift of suffering and longing are meant to reside in a special place in the Heart of Jesus.

Honoring Our Lady of Sorrows
Graces given to those who honor the sorrows of Mary
Litany to Our Lady of Sorrows